Why Hello Again Blog World

I wrote new blog posts probably once a month since I went MIA on here.  Well, more like I wrote half of them and then deleted them all or left them unfinished.

I had too much on my mind to make a cohesive post.  Hell, I still do.   I questioned why I was even blogging.  I didn't really feel I had anything unique to bring to the conversation.  I eat.  I crossfit.  I do a few fun things here and there.  I'm not any different than the average health/fitness blogger.  

And then yesterday I decided, who cares?  Why should I write this for anyone but me?  I've always only ever wrote for me.  Yeah, people read it.  Even people who know me in real life.  But this little space here is all mine.

So here's my post for today.  Maybe I'll be back.  Maybe I won't.  But I wanted to remember this little thing that happened to me.

I keep looking at this picture from this weekend and I was trying to figure out why when it dawned on me.  It was pretty much pure happiness from playing around with my little cousin.  And for once, I didn't look at this picture and pick apart everything I wanted to change about me.   I didn't look at it and think 'I've got work to do still'.   I'm just happy.   It took a long time to get here and I can't guarantee that those thoughts aren't going to crop up from time to time, but to actually recognize that is a big deal.

And now back to my regular crossfit/eating schedule.... and work... maybe work.

Perspective

Today is Tuesday, March 26th and I'm giving up the scale again for a month.


I've been consistently seeing loses every week for the past few weeks and feeling lighter, smaller, and stronger.

When I stepped on the scale today my heart kind of sunk a bit and I could feel the bad thoughts bubbling up.  Staying the same is hard.

I also know that I had food yesterday and the day before that would probably make me not lose.  I've also not slept well the last two nights.  These are things I need to remember.

I also need to remember that the scale DOES NOT MATTER.  My head knows this, but every time I don't lose my brain goes on overdrive and I think that I will never lose another pound and the scale is going to go up.  Dumb.

The other thing that convinced me to get off the scale?

Today I managed to get 5 reps with 145lbs for my deadlift!  More satisfactory than any number on a scale!  My last try was barely 3 reps.  I'm hoping that a 1-2RM will show up soon so I can test whether or not I've hit goal!   I can't wait!

And this picture reminds me of how far I've come!  I'm back in jeans I haven't worn in years, and they're starting to feel loose!

Time to get rid of that scale again Kelly.  Until April 26th, I WILL NOT get on the scale.

Get Real Food Challenge - Final Thoughts

It's here!!

Get Real Food Challenge and Swimsuits

The Get Real Food Challenge is coming to an end on Monday (with a weekend that's going to prove a little tough in the food department) and I'll have a wrap up post coming soon.

This week, things clicked again and my stomach started to feel so much better.  No waking up with an angry tummy.  This week taught me to be more in tune with how full I am.  Once I put everything on a plate, a lot of times I'll eat it all and that's not always needed.  With the time change, I've been feeling off and not so hungry this week, so if I felt like I was done eating, I was.  That's it that's all.  There's not much else to say, except that, for this week.  I feel like the rest will come in my wrap up post!

On to other more exciting things for you readers...

In my 2013 Goals, I listed that I wanted to feel confident in my swimsuit this year.  Sooooo, in typical Kelly fashion, I ended up taking photos in my current bikini.

I'm actually pretty happy with the way it's looking now compared to last summer (last summer I HAD to wear shorts due to my hips' love for looking all muffin toppy.  The top fits perfectly this time around instead of my boobs hanging out every where.   I just want it to fit my lower half just as well.  So that's what I'm aiming for.  OR I'm going to just get some new bottoms.... OR a new bikini.   I should have known when I bought these that the bottoms were a little skimpy for what I usually wear.  

Progress is progress is progress.  Even if it's more about getting it through my head that I can wear a swimsuit without covering up.  Let's see what happens with these pictures when summer is officially here and I'm spending my time jumping in lakes!

Crossfit Benchmarks

I just realized it's been a week since I last posted, which means that I totally missed part 3 of the Real Food Challenge.  Yikes!  Sorry people still kind of reading! Next week I'll see if I can get my buggy sound to work and actually do a video.

In it's place, I shall give you a screen grab from that vid:

Mainly, well because we all know I'm vain, but look at those shoulders!  I finally see some definition going on which is really exciting!

Annnyways, the real point of this post is to talk about CF benchmark workouts.  These workouts are either the ladies (so named because apparently, they leave you flat on your back, looking up at the sky wondering what happened to you) or the Hero workouts (I believe these are based on US heros - generally military).

I've now done 2 in my whopping 3.5 months of Crossfit and they are doozies.  I did Fran awhile back and remember dying at the end of my 7min or whatever it was (probably longer but who knows).  Today was Jackie.

In recognition that I may not have been giving it my all in February, March started off with a bang and I'm really trying to giv'r with everything.  Today though... while my cardiovascular capacity felt good, my body had a different story.  I love and hate rowing, the shorty in me just can't go wicked fast so I'm usually the last one off.  On top of that, the advice is to save your energy for the thrusters and pull ups.  

The thrusters started off feeling fine but the last 15 or so started slowing and I couldn't just bang them out... 3... stop... 2... stop... okay 10 more.  

And then I hit the pull-ups (actually, I did chins).  Oh my.  I got the first 10 out of the way and then struggled through the next bit.  As much as I felt like I could, my arms didn't want to.  I hung off the bar for quite some time and the last one was pretty weak.   As soon as I got off the bar my forearms were on fire and getting that fun tight feeling.   I could barely open my hands.

So Jackie, you were a bit of a b*tch.  But I'll get you next time.  

Hey There Plateau

Not this morning, but appropriate for this post.

This month has been tough outside of the whole workout/healthy eating realm that is this blog.   As much as I'd love to blather on about it here, it's not the place, and I need to cope with it.  I've been dealing heavily with feelings of wanting to stress eat over the last 1-2 weeks and not giving in, but I'm sure it's been clouding my food judgement.

I'm not entirely sure what went wrong this month (okay I have a suspicion), but I went into this morning not necessarily expecting great things, but hoping.


The good is that I'm down 1.5lbs.  The not so good is that my measurements didn't change at all this month.  At least it's not a gain?

I'm annoyed, and it set my morning off in a funk that I'm trying to mentally get through.

These things happen, and being stressed about it on top of everything else isn't worth it.

Tomorrow is March 1st, and I'm going to step into it with renewed dedication and drive.

I will break this plateau.  I will meet my goal of being as happy as I can with my body/self-image by the summer.  It will be okay.

Get Real Food Challenge Update #2

There was supposed to be a vlog here yesterday, but my new computer was having none of that and I got too frustrated to fix it yesterday.  Or today.  So you get a blog.  Deal.

Food

Food wise was fairly good last week minus the times we went out to eat, but I stuck with paleo.  Umm.... except for me making a mistake with my pizza on Friday night and forgetting that I had to check 'no cheese' option when I ordered online.  So I ate a piece with it and then picked it off the rest.

Gym

Last week I felt off for most of the week and had trouble upping my weight on a lot of things.  However, during our special Monday workout, I actually managed a 2RM Turkish Get Up with 20lbs and majorly upped my box jumps.  Wahhoooo!  This week I've been PRing all over the place but I'll update that tomorrow.

Life

Sleep has been actually on a roll this week and despite feeling off and the stressors I've had, I've been well rested.  Some of those days were melatonin induced, but I'm okay with it.  Unfortunately this week started off with me trying to push down the stress eating cravings, but so far so good.

GOING FORWARD

Food 

My goal this week has been to take out my paleo treats and decrease my 'paleo approved sugars' to take down the stress eating cravings.  I didn't bake anything on Sunday, and instead prepped lots of veggies and protein to make it through.  Unfortunately, I also made maple cinnamon almond butter and someone needs to pry it out of my hands.  It's so good.

I'm also trying to up my water intake.  I've been slacking recently.  So the brita and I are now BFFs.

Gym

Trying to give it all no matter how I feel this week.  Pushing through and getting it done.  That's it that's all.

Life

My life goal is the same as the gym.  Approach things with positivity and every time my head gets into a vicious cycle of self doubt, counteract it with what is going right in my life at this very moment.

And a little something extra.... pictures and American Eagle LIE.

For those of you who saw that picture of me in my size 10 shorts and figured I was a 6-8.  Not so much.  AE is never consistent with their sizes depending on the cut.  Case in point:  I have 12s, 10s, 14s and they're all different.   I went in this weekend to try jeans on, and because EVERYTHING is flipping low rise, no 8s or 10s that I grabbed fit me.  Bah!