We All Know What Happens When We Assume...

This rant is brought to by making an ass out of you and me.


After having a good rant on this dude changes his web name too much blog, I got to experience a bit of first hand assuming that drove me so bonkers last night.

One thing that took me a really long time to understand is to stop judging people at the gym.  Everyone has their own goals in their head and you're best to just leave them alone and well 'do you'.

Granted, I do silently judge when something looks so wrong I'm 99% sure I'm going to see them in my clinic later, but I keep it to myself and go about my thing.

What I haven't really talked about on this blog is that I'm halfway through Jamie Eason's Live Fit.

I love it, but I'm saving a review for later.

To begin with, I was pretty pumped to walk in to my gym to find the squat rack empty.  Silently I did a little whoop in my head and BEE LINED it over.   My first exercise was a narrow stance squat, something I've never done before.  I was playing around with which muscles I was using and going slow with just the bar.  I thought I was doing okay when a fellow gym goer caught my attention.  I removed my earbuds thinking he would ask me how many sets I had left.

WRONG.

He proceeded to tell me that I should do a wider stance and interrupted my workout for a good 5 minutes after I explained that I was trying to do narrow stance.  This convo included how I was going to wreck my back and knees.  NO SHIT.  That's why I'm low weight and trying to get it right.

20 minutes later I started double walking lunges.  Step-down-up-down-step.  He catches me at the end of a set and the exchange goes like this:

Guy:  Double Lunges eh?  Pretty tough.

Me: Yeah, my legs are dead after that set.

Guy:  You know you don't have to kill yourself

Me:  Meh, I know my body pretty well, I'll go down in weight if I need to.

Guy:  You know, bodybuilding.com has some pretty tough programs.  There's this other site called T-----nation----dot---com that has some good programs.  Not so hard.

Me:  Yeah, I know that site. *starting to fume*

Guy: So what's your name.

Me: Kelly.

Guy: I'm *blahblahblahnolongerlisteningblahblahblah*

Me: Cool.  Have a good workout.

I wish I could have accurately described how small he made me feel.  I avoided going near him the rest of my workout. 

What I'm assuming:  He thought I didn't look 'fit' enough to be doing what I was doing.  Just because I'm 5'1" and somewhere around the 160 mark does NOT mean I'm out of shape or inept at lifting weights.  Just because I haven't quite got the form down, doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing. 

The worst part:  I turn my physio brain off when I walk out the door of my work.  I had NO capacity to say something back to him.


I just hope I don't have to see him at the gym again.

The Number Game

I had a thought yesterday. 

Actually, I surprisingly have many thoughts on a regular basis but not every one of them is sane. 

My thought was this:  I've spent a majority of my 26 years focused on numbers.  My pant size.  The number on the scale.  How many points/calories I've ate.  How many times did I go to the gym that week. 

I've done away with two of these numbers.  I haven't set foot on a scale in over two months.  It has been the most freeing experience of my life.  Especially because I take pictures of my progress every month or so.  I don't have shitty days because I weighed myself.  I don't beat myself up over not losing from one week to the next.  Oh I pigged out on sushi and have sodium bloat?  I don't react twice as bad since I don't see the number momentarily go up.

I've also stopped counting calories.  I try to fit too much crap into my day if I do.  Instead, I give my body what it wants (even if it means a burger and fries or chocolate).  I don't care about calories.  I care about maxing my protein which seems to mean I eat less.

I have one more to give up this week. 

My pant size. 

I'm not sure what I started out as prior to this journey.   I know I had a pair of size 12 jeggings that were pretty snug and some stretchy lulus.  But that's about the extent of what I wore.

I now seem to be about an 11/12. 

But really.  What does it matter?

As long as I'm healthy, happy, and seeing strength gains and body composition gains, I don't need to worry about fitting into a size 8.  It's been my goal for so long to get back to an 8.  Today, I'm letting it go.  I may get back there one day or I may not.

I thought about why I wanted an 8 sooooo bad.  It's all I've wanted for 2 years.  I realized it's because it's not a "plus size" number.  Sure, I guess a 12 is considered the plus size, but a 10 is still double digits.  In my head, I needed to shun that number.  *please note I think all women are beautiful no matter what their size.  It was something I had built in my head.*

You know what?  I don't care anymore.

I'm happy with my progress.  


Numbers are just numbers.  They can't hurt me.

I Sweat Rainbows

This weekend, I got to participate in something really awesome:  The Colo(u)r Run!!  

There was a moment at 3:12pm while we were stuck in traffic on the 401 headed to Montreal when I really really really wanted to just stay in Toronto.  I didn't want to race.  And then I thought about it.  This 'race' was supposedly the happiest run on the planet.  What was I worried about.

6 hours later... we were in Montreal and having dinner.  

Because we couldn't leave until Friday night, we had to pick up race packages Saturday morning.  I woke up at an ungodly hour to see that it was still dark out and it was -2 degrees.  I was not prepared for negative temps.

 But I laced up my pink Sauconys and pulled on my zebra socks, and we headed out the door.

Because we got there at 7:30am (my irrational fear of being late combined with the fact that there was a ton of warnings about how busy it would be) we got our gear super quickly and had a 1.5 hours to try to stay warm.

Clean... not for long.

 I stole Greg's purple package and shoved it in my bra.  Sports bras are very handy I tell ya.

How to tell you're not at a 'serious race': people were milling about in the Color Store/Race Pack pickup area well after 9am, the official race start.  I couldn't find the damn start line until 9:15.  AND NO ONE WAS PANICKED ABOUT IT.

Beautiful Montreal, the white dots are actually runners on the other side.  You can also see some people waiting to start just sitting on the docks.

The run itself was amazing.  I ran most of it fairly fast (I think) and appreciated the bottleneck at the colour zones as a bit of a rest period.  The best part?  No one really cared about times and the stops etc.  Barely anyone had headphones.  I saw a ton of people skipping while doing it.  My favourite parts were watching people roll in the colour and throw it all over themselves.  

They weren't lying when they said it was the happiest run on the planet.  I get it now.

 After a long drive home, I decided to do a little celebrating with my favourite brewery's awesome pumpkin beer, Weiss O'Lantern.

If there's a Colour Run in your area I so, so, so recommend it.  I can't tell you how much fun it was.  And if you do do it, enjoy the moment.  Greg and I didn't run together, but I wish we had and had gotten even more colourful.  

It's okay though.  There's always next year.

Dabbling in Healthy Desserts

Wishing I had grabbed my SLR when I took the spring form pan off this amazingness, because this picture does NOT do it justice.  This my friends, is PEANUT BUTTER PIE.

Raw, gluten free, and pretty much healthy for you. 

Mine didn't turn out perfect because the instructions were a bit vague but it's definitely a must try again!

Chocolate Fudge Crust

• 1 Cup Raw Peanuts
• 1 Cup Raw Slivered Almonds
• 1 Cup Pitted Dates
• 4 Tbsp Cocoa
• 1/4 Cup Water

Peanut Butter Filling

• 1 Cup Pumpkin Puree
• 1/2 Cup Natural Peanut Butter
• 1/3 Cup Pitted Dates
• 3 Packets Stevia
• 2 Tbsp Pure Maple Syrup

Chocolate Ganache

• 1 Cup Coconut Oil
• 1/4 Cup Pure Maple Syrup
• 1/2 Cup Cocoa

1. Grease a spring form pan.  I used coconut oil.

2. Food process/blend peanuts and almonds until desired size (you still want it to be a bit chunky, not a flour).  Add in the rest of the ingredients and blend until a dough forms.  Pack into the bottom of the pan.  Stash in the fridge so it firms up while you complete the next step.

3.  Blend the peanut butter filling until smooth.   I would suggest chopping the dates before throwing them in.  I had to blend like crazy.  Pour over the crust layer and put in fridge.

4.  Blend ganache layer.  Pour on top.

5.  Pop into the fridge or freezer for about 3 hours.

*Added suggestion:  Refrigerate until the ganache is semi-solid and pre-score your slices.  I think it would be best served frozen, but it'll be easier if your top layer is already cut.

ENJOY.

Being Gluten-Less

Earlier this year I jumped on a bandwagon.   That bandwagon was the Wheat Belly bandwagon.

After becoming increasingly frustrated with my inability to lose weight (and ability to put pounds on), I started to get wrapped up in the idea of becoming gluten free.  I read Wheat Belly, which made some excellent points while being a little repetitive and boring at times.   On top of the inability to lose weight, I was bloating all the time.  I would walk by a mirror after a meal and break down because I looked so "fat" and joked that baby Harris had arrived.  It was not a good time.

I decided to go gluten free earlier this year for a month just to see what would happen.  The answer: not much.

Without fan fare, on August 15, I decided to try it again.  One month gluten free.  But this time it came with some other "rules".

1) Don't replace gluten with more carbs - One of my issues last time was gluten free pasta and gluten free beer.  While not off limits per se, I had pasta maybe 1-2 times in that month.

2) Increase protein intake - Protein powders have made a comeback!  So good.  I bake tons of treats and make my shakes and really found they help keep me satisfied.  I also made sure to have a large portion of whatever I ate be protein.

3) Decrease sugar - aka stop the Starbucks - Honestly, part of this was the fact that my sugar came with gluten in baked treats that I'd 'just have a bite of' so in reducing gluten I was decreasing a lot of my not so great treats.  On top of that, an iced coffee with syrup was a normal occurrence even though I like my coffee with just milk most times. It's okay though, I found some awesome substitutes.

4) Work-Outs - I've actually worked out LESS in the last month than I was in the month before.  What's changed?  Making them count.... um... literally.   I can't count reps for the life of me.

5) Decrease stress - There's been a lot going on behind the scenes right now and I took several steps to make life a lot easier on me.  Including getting rid of the Mazerbatty.

Me just over 2 years ago with my first car.

6) Stop counting calories/get rid of the scale - I did it.  I got off MyFitnessPal.  I haven't been on the scale for a month.  What happened?  A lot of good things.

The rules going forward:  To be gluten-less.  I'll still have homemade pasta and pizza and beer sometimes.... but after seeing those two pics, it's going to be a heck of a lot less than it was. 

Why I disapeared (again)

Gosh I'm crummy at posting.

I'm aware that part of it is not having a plan.  I need to sit down and get a feel for what I want to write when.

Part of it had to do with something bigger.

I've been a social media junkie since the days of ICQ and dial-up.  Serious.

It was only a matter of time before I had a public blog and since I spend an unforgiving amount of time on healthy eating, food, and exercising blogs, plus spending a lot of time doing the aforementioned things, it ended up being about my struggles with my weight, and working out.


Last week I did a lot of awesome things I wanted to post about (and soon will), but there was something nagging at me that I couldn't decide if it should enter into the realm of the blogosphere.

But here it is.  I'm saying it.

I am not always a happy upbeat blogger and that is my thing.  I embrace that. 

But there are some things that I just can't accept for me in what I read on these blogs.  And that's okay too.

And I doubt that the people who write these things realize how I took what they put down in words in a tweet, on an instagram, or in a blog.  Again, that's okay.

I also realize I could just stop reading.  

But I'm going to express things anyways.

What are the things I don't understand??


1.  Implying that a certain weight is just "too big" on a certain frame.

I just spent the last month working on getting rid of the scale and not even focusing on my pant size.   Just because I may weigh something like 160-170lbs and I'm 5'1, doesn't mean my body isn't healthy.  It doesn't mean I don't go to the gym.  It doesn't mean I indulge all the time.   It's what my body has decided to plateau at.  And yeah, I'm eating better, and working harder to achieve some of my goals, which include seeing some abs, but I'm not about to tell you that I think 170lbs is just too much for my body to carry around.  It seems to be doing okay right now.

2.  Telling the world that eating one fast food, one calorific meal, a bagel, or drinking is a horrible, horrible, thing. 

Yup, those things are actually pretty bad for you.  WE ALL KNOW THAT.  Or at least I hope we do.  But some days, I just really want a friggin glass of wine.  And maybe some times I want some wine several days in a row.  And sometimes, I eat a pound of wings and decide on fries.  And that's okay.  Clean eating is a really awesome thing for our insides.  But we are not failures if we eat something crummy.  I admire your strict clean eating but don't make me feel bad that I chose moderation and a sweatathon at the gym.

3.  Not allowing fruit in your diet.

Ahhh I get it, I do.  We're a society who loves our sugar.... but fruit?  Really?  Sigh.  This makes me sad. 


There's more probably but I'll leave it there.  I'm going to prep my healthy take on some meals and desserts and get ready to drink my wine!

Standard fare.  Vino with a glass of eau.

My Head is Spinning

Over 3 years ago, I attended my first spin class at Heritage Fitness (Carleton Place) and it was good, but I wasn't smitten with it.  That said, I linked to this gym because if you ever find yourself in my hometown or surrounding area without access to a gym and you like lifting heavy things, this is an awesome place to go.

A few weeks after that, I moved to Ottawa/Barrhaven and ended up here: GoodLife - Strandherd.

My roommate and I fell into the routine of 9:30am Friday classes.  Such an awesome instructor and worth rushing to work for noon.  Even though some days I couldn't stand the repetitiveness of Les Mills RPM, I still go a good workout and loved the social aspect.  Spinners are loyal to their time, their bike, and their instructor.  Mess with one and let the fun begin. 

And then I moved to big bad Toronto.  Let me tell you, I'm all about convenience.  All of the gyms I've attended (except for Carleton Place) have been walkable.  So gone was Goodlife, and in was a new one just 3 blocks from my house.  Which meant new spin classes!  Oh my. 

My gym operates spin classes with an All Terrain feel.  Each instructor has their unique way of teaching, and can choose the pace of the class, music, etc.  I played around with the classes I could take and after hating every class I went to with one instructor, finally fell into Wednesdays at 9:30am with Anna.

Totally hooked.  Great workouts (uh hello, let's just put 16min of tabata in the middle, whooookay) and a friendly and motivating personality.  I found my class.

It was with a sad heart today that I attended what will probably be my last Wednesday morning class.  My job is switching hours to a normal pace 3 days a week (9-5) so I'll have to find a new class on the schedule to hit up.  So far it looks like Wednesday night!

We'll see how that goes when I get to it.  I'll probably have to miss a couple weeks of spin (the horror!) because of life. 

You'll probably never see this, but thanks Anna for being a kick ass instructor!