Thursday, 31 January 2013

A Letter To My Twelve Year Old Self

 A few days back, I read this article:  Immediately after, I thought, I really should write one for this ol' bloggy blog. 

Then I struggled with it for awhile.  I don't know if I would have changed the course of my life.  As much as I went through some very tough times as a kid/teen, I landed in a very amazing part of my life.  I found my confidence.  Snagged a pretty awesome boy.  Ended up with a couple adorable cats (ha).  And found a way to move/exercise that I love.

What would I write to my twelve year old self?

Actually, I think I'm about 10 here, but it still works.

Dear Kelly,

I know this time in your life really sucks.  Friendships that you thought would last forever are falling apart and your world is being turned upside down with the separation of your parents who you never saw fight or argue once.  You feel like your world is falling apart and so are you.  On top of all that, I know the self-hate you're struggling with.  Being teased and called fat for the last 12 years hasn't been kind to your self-esteem.  On top of that, your doctor is telling you you need to workout, but any activity = failure for your uncoordinated, clumsy self, and even worse, negative thinking.

You need to realize that you are you and that's okay.  Nerdy, clumsy, weird, smart.  These things are not bad things.  In fact, one day, you're going to have some really awesome people in your life that love you for that. 

Realize that food isn't just something that makes you gain weight, it's pretty vital to your health.  Realize that Weight Watchers points are not a game to try to get under everyday.  A diet pepsi and gum are not a well balanced lunch and they're not going to fuel your brain for being the awesome smarty pants you're going to be.

Look at yourself in the mirror every day and find something you love about yourself instead of looking into that mirror with loathing.  Love and respect your body for it is an amazing little machine (and I'm sorry, you're not going to grow any taller).  Don't let boys determine your self-worth or dictate your body image.  Love yourself.  I'm serious.  It's possible.

And lastly, find your voice.  Or realize that one day you will.   Though closing yourself down and becoming painfully shy will put up a shield around yourself that you think is going to prevent you from hurt, it's only going to delay some very amazing friendships and opportunities that are going to come your way.  Opening up to the people that matter will make you infinitely more happy.  To quote some Dr. Seuss "those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind".  Believe it.

Love, your 27 year old self.
(You'll even be able to grow your hair out one day AND straighten it with the invention of ceramic flat irons)

P.S.  Dye your hair whatever colour you want whenever you want.  Just be smart about bleaching those curls.

No comments:

Post a Comment