Sunday, 13 January 2013

A Long Time Coming...

The title of this post is about 3 fold.  

Partly, I wanted to post this earlier in the week after I made 2 really significant tweets about my weight and goals.  It's now Sunday, but that's okay.  I'm getting it done now and that's what matters.

The other two meanings behind this post are a lot more in depth.  

First off, after how many years of trying to get rid of the weight I put back on, I've managed to fit into an old pair of size 10 jeans I've had hanging around for possibly 3 years.  They were kind of tight when I bought them... and I just remembered I have a really awkward picture of me in them from when I got them!  Oh photobucket, thank you for keeping all of my photos.


Anyways, the point is, I've been trying them on off and on over the last few years just to see.  It usually ended up with me in tears and hating on myself.  But not this time!

Yes, I totally picked at the hole in them until I blew it out, but they fit!  And I even wore them in public today!  Super exciting stuff.  It's only been 2 months since changing my diet and exercise program and I'm seeing such results that it's keeping me incredibly motivated.  It was so frustrating to see no changes no matter how hard I tried.  To see changes in terms of pant size pushes me to keep going.  I'm down at least a pant size, though it's hard to tell since most of my pants are stretchy.  Think jeggings and lulu.

The last and deepest thoughts that occurred to me this week is how comfortable I've become.  I'm not pulling at my clothes, and to be honest, if I was to plateau here, I think I'd be okay.  Negative self-talk in terms of my body image used to be a constant that I could never get away from.  I realized earlier in the week that it's gone.  I look in the mirror and I DON'T pick myself apart any more.  I don't hate on all the 'flaws'.   I really think that's been a key to success this time around.  Because of my better all around body image, I'm happier and my goals have definitely changed.  Rather than being focused on a number or pant size, I want to get stronger.  I want to be able to do an unassisted chin up.  I want to deadlift my body weight.  I want to be able to do burpees faster. 

I love this new outlook, and I will try my best to keep things positive.


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